I dont like coming online.
it often makes me sad.
maybe thats why my posts are always so saddish =(
i'm usually a much happier person, in person.
ask anyone who really knows me. I'm a super cheerful person.
they'll think its weird i'm always typing stupid sad things here
i use facebook for the convenience.
cuz everything is on facebook. like events and notices and random thoughts.
but if i could i probably wont.
i'm not interested in stalkin everyone 24/7
i only go to their pages to see how they're doing.
i can count the number of people whose pages i go to regularly.
i try not to look at photos.
cuz often i see things i dun wanna see. or feel inferior all that shyt.
and seeing them hurts.
checking emails always mean more work.
more things to attend, more things to do, more people to talk to.
i wish i could fade away. just for awhile.
at times like this, i wish i really had my dark horse.
whom i could run to and disappear with. just for awhile.
I'm sorry i'm so selfish. i'm sorry i'm so sensitive.
i wish it would all go away. just go away and leave me.
i cant run away. it just comes after me. and i'm too tired to run anymore.
i wish i didnt have to print notes, check emails, and do lab reports.
then, i probably can survive without my computer and all the grief technology brings.
notice how i can stay away my computer for days and not have any withdrawal symptoms? sighs. thats not a sign of a young adult who belongs to this generation.
lost in place, lost in time.
in a mth, i would officially no longer be a teen. (not that i am now anyway but its still not 2 yet!)
growing up means more responsibility, more things to worry about, more things to learn about.
i wish i could keep that at bay. for a long time more.
learning to age like good wine. its not easy. bleahs.
can i accept you for the things you dont have but make up for so much in other ways?
would i be shaken years down?
how would i know what is God's plan for me?
self-control. something i'm trying to enforce.
I AM listening more to my head now.
i wish everything else would keep quiet sometimes. stop shouting and let me listen to my head.


hello there, dont waste your time on me. you're already the voice inside my head.